you get what you do not destroy

Apalachicola

is the birthplace of my dear snowball; an old town, older than tally. It is the birthplace of refrigeration (my trade-in-training) by John Gorrie (sp?). pressurized ammonia as the refrigerant. Apalach as is is commonly called, was also mentioned by Kerouac, and recently recorded by tom waits: home ill never be

"
(Jack Kerouac)

I left New York in 1949
To go across the country without a bad blame dime
Montana in the cold cold fall
Found my father in the gambling hall

Father, Father where you been?
I've been out in the world and I'm only ten
Father, Father where you been?
I've been out in the world and I'm only ten

Don't worry about me if I should die of pleurisy

Across to Mississippi, across to Tennessee
Across the Niagara, home I'll never be
Home in ol' Medora, home in Ol' Truckee
Apalachicola, home I'll never be

Better or for worse, thick and thin
Like being married to the Little poor man
God he loves me (God he loves me)
Just like I love him (just like I love him)
I want you to do (I want you to do)
Just the same for him (just the same for him, yeah)

Well the worms eat away but don't worry watch the wind
So I left Monatana on an old freight train (on an old freight train)
The night my father died in the cold cold rain (in the cold cold rain)

Road to Opelousas, road to Wounded Knee
Road to Ogallala home I'll never be
Road to Oklahoma, road to El Cahon
Road to Tahachapi, road to San Antone

Hey, hey

Road to Opelousas, road to Wounded Knee
Road to Ogallala, home I'll never be
Road to Oklahoma, road to El Cahon
Road to Tahachapi, road to San Antone

Home I'll never be, home I'll never be
Home I'll never be, home I'll never be
Home I'll never be, home I'll never be"

anybody out there

anyone can be your friend guru enemy lover teacher. thought processes, people, political systems and religions that say otherwise lie. there is no other way to say it. animals as well, only prefereably not the lover part unless it is consensual, I suppose. we are flying through it all in an instant

kontraband kitty

Snowball is just 3 weeks in our house. he is an incarnation of a unknown guitarist whose band once opened for Zeppelin. He is also known as snowballs, fat man, big boy (you cant fully appreciate how fat he is in this pic), big balls, and snowsack. He like the aroma of Ganja, and he hasnt seriously tried to eat our parakeets pepe and chitra. Snowball is a rare soul. We are not supposed to have him here due to our oligarchic landlords, the state of Florda. He is actually from Apalachicola and can be a bit of a badass having grown up and abandoned for a while down there. He may have been getting some good seafood though as he has a large girth.

modern day hero- om

why do the saints shamans sadhus authors acidheads as well as serious folk like me prefer to explore the boundary between what is and is not. real or imaginary, in a gross sense. mythology is real only when you are the hero, which is the intention

only 1 trillion!

updates

the dow

The dow has risen, the dow has risen indeed, let us give thanks and praise

oooops!

There goes our money and our economy for a while Americans! read more here


(Isnt it interesting this is happening at the end of Jr's reign? Its a sign the Bush clan thinks they will have less pull the next four years I think.)

PS to economics post of yesturday

Its interesting to note that W's Sr family, Marvin Bush and Jeb (and cousin Gearge Walker) are connected to lehman as well as the infamous savings and loan bail outs and scandals in the 1980's when Sr was veeps. And they happen to be related to the current president. The world is full of strange coincidences

Captain Happy

In light of my recent negativity, I have, in the tradition of self help, adopted the positive affirmation/epithet of Captain Happy. I call out the mantra 'Captain Happy' at odd intervals in the day when I need a shot of positivity. I'm hoping I will be known to the world as Captain Happy: the man who overcame the stupidity of humanity and the endless maze of faiths and wishes to emerge triumphant from the bowels of hopelessness as...Captain Happy. If you can be happy here you can be happy anywhere, after all. The best thing is you too can be an associate of Captain Happy simply by being happy. That's not too much to ask, is it?

current economic woes revealed by me

Whats more important than the election is the fact the americas investement system has grown increasingly crazy. In 1971 america went off the gold standard, by Nixon decree, due to excesses of the Vietnam war. Since then Amurca has been running on what could be termed a 'virtual asset' system, to some degree (which is increasing- and therefore the problem). There are some advantages to this as well which we wont get into. The problem is in the old days banks took in investments and lent money. In the modern system of "shadow banking" these virtual assets are shifted to and fro (in all types of investment and finance markets), to ideally make a profit. It is a system so chaotic and difficult to understand that the head of the fed, Bernake, had to get a refresher course to even address the issue, as reported by Forbes. This "shadow banking" is therefore unregulated...and completely legal. The problem is as investors shift virtual funds from semi-scam to semi-scam they take on some very high risk deals (as this is unregulated, and well...secret), deals that go bust.

In the old system if you went bust you went bust. The problems we are reading about stem form the fact that these investment giants control extremely large amounts of money and markets in the country, which are intertwined with financial circuits that effect almost every area of business and finance in some way. Due to this, their failure would send ripples through the entire economy, which would in turn potentially create a chain of reaction that would be so bad we don't even want to think about. Therefore the federal government feels economic pressure to step in and cover the bad investments of these "shadow banks", in defense of the national economy.

Lately we hear about the mortgage crisis. High-risk loans to underqualified individuals. Good for business in a way, because banks make money on a certain amount of forclosures. Even in a good economy this is normal. But when the country is affected by external negative economic factors )from the world economy) e.g. the rising price of oil and food, which these "secret banks" can't always foresee, there becomes a perfect storm of conditions for failure.

Essentially the tax payers will have to flip the bill for these assholes and their bad investements. Or, as Paul Krugman says, when these institutions win, they keep the profits, and when they loose, the taxpayers flip the bill. This is yet another way the rich get richer and the poor get poorer in America's increasingly hyper-capitalist mentality, that seems to be growing more reckless rather than smart. the bastards

full moon greetings

hell of a day a man must face with a old face turned to sweat in the humid vapor of the swamps cunt two guns warm in the backseat of yesterday wanting touch like the spirits that fly through it all laughing because anything would the mother or lover fly through the bright sky
tonight

unentitled

corrupted by philosophies and whatever else I sit.

a true story, possibly not true, I'm not really sure
across the field from the back door of our townhouse about 100 or so yards from where my green plastic chair sits, supporting my ass while on fresh air breaks lives a beautiful woman with black hair and good skin. I dont know where she is from, but statistically likely Chinese, and there are so many people from all over the world here. And many if not most of them, at least the females are quite beautiful. Venusian. so though I dont really know what her face looks like at all I can feel the vibe. Weve noticed each other, perhaps my own vibeless imagined vibe, as after several beers a couple of vodka shots last thursday night, I could have sworn the lady was gesturing wildly in the air, and to my buzzed mind she was perhaps signaling me to come hither.
Luckily I realized either way it was not a good idea to appreach her, in case I looked like a drunken horny bumbling idiot that I often am after nightfall. I have mispercieved things many times before hopefully not too much more. she may have been fanning eggroll scented burning oil smoke from her kitchen, if the case, being a gentlemen I would have helped her extinguish the fire. but my buns did not leave that green plastic chair, and there was no fire. Im pretty sure there was a woman there though.

I, like my perpetual innumerable forefathers, find the magic in a woman and her body or a bottle or a shovel or wrench or a gun. you never choose your death or your life. what would be the magic then? I wish I could say. someday will seem like yesterday, blown across a swampy field.

Im really not as crazy as it sounds save the below entries. Actually I am only acknowledgeing what is actually happening as opposed to what one wishes, expects, prays, affirms, believes, hopes, gots to have, snakin, fuck all world ego obscured spirit passing of days. living and dying. pretty and shit sticks to it. ride the bull or get tossed to the side. throw the trishul or be impaled.

fart of gas

there is no gas in my city, ostensibly due to the hurricane, although the governor claims there is no disruption to supply here. A typical lame weekend, gas or no gas. A bored and cranky kid. Lovemaking with the wife supposedly postponed to the weekend that never seems to happen on the weekend either. Boredom. Poverty. A family man's life is pretty shitty I've found. Believing lies for too long I have made myself a cocoon, unwittingly, in which to die. This network of bullshit that seemingly attacks from every side. when I was young I fled to India to try to live with some sort of meaning, perhaps subconsciously knowing what was to be my fate. There was a time when my life was exciting and hopeful, and I often wonder as of late if it will ever be again this time around.

notes to self

with a body of thought, flying in sunlight. dont look for the purpose. save your time. feels like a baby slapped on the back with yesterdays wanderings and feelings falling down. absorption emission. that is the mission

listening to

these young black religious dudes (unconfirmed religions) in my class are hashing out the essence of social evil. I realized how youth is so much energy with no brains. I was a hairy krishna for shits sake. the world and righteousness seems your oyster. One guy said he cant understand why people smoke if it "kills you", horrors of alcohol, etc. this intense looking older brother Troy (who also smokes) and I shared a look of disbelief and he commented how we can die at any moment, such as being hit by a truck, to which I agreed. What to speak of by touching hot wires or oxyacetylene tanks bursting in our faces. I figure I am a better authority on death than someone ten years my junior. cause Ive known him longer.

human pincushion

my new cat dug into my arms
my old lady has dug into my heart
insects have dug under my door
my arm dug into asphalt two weeks ago
and it all grows back

morning of Saturn

in some ways one has to see his or her or its life as an experiment. like the rare human sages of yore. that was the original line of the gita. the strongest of men that become immortal. called differently in different languages, the brahman, the mystery or whatever ,and the duty, either mental or physical or both, fides. in the modern day compulsive enjoyment has replaced honor, and subsequently, knowledge.

2day

bought a pack of american spirit kings. good. flirted with a lesbian pet store worker in the reptile section. she let me son an I hold various snakes and lizards. ball python some litle black and red kingsnake. she knew her snakes too. she had an answer for every question. frilled dragon Uromastyx (tail like a small dinosaur) and others. I want the ball but my vedic wife wont allow.

worried that I see no purpose in life. A series of miseries. all philosophies are useless. all wishing for an afterlife time wasted, though it is ultimately wasted anyway. everthing against a backdrop of loss. a strange freedom in hopelessness. for the first time in my life I have loss the desire to live, though I am not suicidal.

Fay kisses tree, Aug. 08 Tally, FL

I

lost in a second.