valentines

as america gets sucked a bit deeper by the inevitable vacuum backlash of its artificially affluent consumption, I also vacillate, although never, yet, affluent. delivered flowers for two days. rainy day. tired of my continually repressed and dismal conditions of life. the moldy shitty cramped stinkin apartment. the pressure of trying to teach a human being that you chose to produce how to survive in life when you cant seem to get a break yourself. plenty of empty and somewhat meaningless time to ruminate, wasting time on time wasted years ago. there is no rewind button. every step up I seem to take seems followed by a shift down in everything around me sometimes.