day

submitted my thesis today, again. Just another bullshit deadline, so they can tell me I need 2 spaces where I have one etc. two more weeks of this shit. feeling weird today. depressed, detached, cynical. its very windy the last two days, today gusting to 30mph, and "unseasonably" cold.

this is a transitory time. the last vestiges of my youth (I'm 35) are left in the halls of a university, ogling the butts of ladies, having no schedule other than my 9 hrs of TAing and classes, worrying about homework, and the books I didn't read because I was exploring various other texts and such.

Can I get a job and be 'normal'? I have never had to. I've always been an underdog. An intellectual among working folk, and a raw misfit among the 'normal' people (that wear slacks to work). I have been happy in my wanderings. I always knew I was just passing through, so to speak. But now I will get a job, get a boss, I guess. Somethings seems strange. I am a fringer. I like to be an observer at the sidelines of normalcy, not a participant.